Big Book of Bots
Bots are:
- Your friends
- Available for purchase throughout Alpha Complex!
- Available in a variety of colours*!
- A vital part of our wonderful home!
- Utterly trustworthy¸ reliable and loyal!
- Disposable! Now with added built-in obsolescence!
- Don't delay! Buy your bot buddy today!
*: Variety may vary depending on your security clearance and available resources.
"Attention¸ Bot Users! Your Friend¸ The Computer¸ would like to assure you that your MANDATORY ENJOYMENT of your bot buddy will NOT be affected by the following list of bot behaviours that are KNOWN ISSUES!! Do not be alarmed if your bot:
- Thinks it's a Troubleshooter (like one of the BotShooter bots described in this book)
- Does not appear in the exhaustive Botstiary list of bots (maybe it's a super-fun experimental prototype)
- Falls apart¸ overheats¸ explodes or has peripherals you can't identify (it was probably built using the Bot Creation rules)
- Attempts to perform unnecessary surgery on you (wrong memory card installed)
- Attempts to scrub you (wrong memory card installed again)
- Attempts to attach a printer to you (really¸ check the memory card in the bot or see the memory card rules in this book!)
- Appears to ignore the Five Laws of Robotics (Revised) (it was just following another programming directive)
- Walks into walls (probably just another programming directive)
- Thinks everything is out to get it (probably just another programming directive)
- Crashes whenever anyone says the word 'Traitor' (that's a directive conflict bug¸ it'll be fixed in the next batch. See this book for more details)
- Spouts secret society propaganda or attempts to assassinate you¸ your superiors and The Computer (please report for termination for owning a treacherous bot)
- Is More Fun In Your PARANOIA games than ever before (buy this book!)